Thanksgiving 2019

 

Happy Father's Day in Heaven

Father's Day 2021

June 20, 2021

Roger, Hilary, and Tori take Grandpa Jim for one last canoe ride and spread his ashes on the Yakima River. Happy Father's Day in heaven, Dad and Grandpa!!

Farrell's Ice Cream Parlour

As you know, Jim liked ice cream. Mother took Jim and Adele, his first wife, to the Farrell's ice cream store on Fifth and Pine to celebrate their engagement.  She bought them the biggest banana boat in the place.  It was either 15 or 18 inches long and cost more than mother usually spent for any treats.

Memories on DVD

Email from Mary Farley

November 23, 2021

Jerry had the family films converted into DVDs.  The footage starts in 1951. We had just moved from Fort Dodge, Iowa.   We were living in Seattle in the Sand Point Country Club area.  Dad had purchased a movie camera and a hand-held spotlight device.  You will see that it is awkward to hold both of them.  The spots were very bright when shining into your eyes.  It was necessary to move the camera slowly in a steady hand.   Some of the film got burned when it was run in a projector and there is slippage where the sprocket holes got torn.

The first scenes are of Kay and Jean in cowgirl phase.  Kay is wearing Jerry's chaps. the guns and hats belonged to the boys.  Kay is five and Jean is four.  There are shots of Kay and Jean roller skating that are classic.  Kay cruising and Jean struggling.  Shots of our first ferry ride to Bremerton and back--an amazing experience for children from the Midwest bring back my sense of wonder at the amount of water that existed.

The boys playing baseball in the street in front of our rented home, even one of me playing and "throwing like a girl!" as Bryan would say.  We moved to Bothell in July of 1953 and you will see our first day of school.  We are walking down the front steps all dressed up.  Our grandmother Ehlert and grandpa John are watching us with huge smiles on their faces.

You are going to see lots of birthday parties and Christmas day presents, and a party in the basement recreation room.  Candy as an adorable baby growing up to be 4 or 5 years old.  She was so cute and loved.  There are pictures of family friends, dad's cousins, business partners and neighbors.  Confirmations and first communion ceremonies show pretty girls and dresses, altar boys and one shot of Jerry with his favorite teacher who asked about him until she died.

Dad's mother and father are seen on two different occasions.  Watch for the man walking down the back steps waving his hat.  Dad's sister, Phyllis, drove Grandma and Grandpa out to Bothell to pick up his brother Earl, who got discharged from the navy at Whidbey Island.  They stayed for a few days and then drove back to Beresford where Earl raised 9 children after meeting Lucy.  Phyllis returned to Sioux City where she met Dave and had 4 children in Nebraska.

Eventually there is Cathy.  Our living doll baby.

Thank you, Jerry, for the DVDs!

Cats on the Fourth of July

Email from Mary Farley

November 25, 2021

I forgot to include a favorite scene of mine.  One of our cats, really Kay's cat, had kittens and mother had to give them away.  She made nurses outfits for Kay and Jean and put the kittens into the girl's baby buggies for the 4 of July parade. Kay and Jean were adorable and they had no trouble giving the kittens away to parade spectators.

Another creative costume by Marjorie was making Kay and Jean outfits out of 25-pound sacks of C & H sugar.  She used the top of the sack to make the caps and the body of the sack was their dress.  They looked very sweet.  This was not the reason Kay developed a distaste for pink   That came a couple of decades later.  As you can see Kay did have some very striking pink coats.

You will also notice that both Kay and Cathy had amblyopia, or "lazy eye".  Their left eyes were slightly off focus center.  Kay had surgery to correct it when she was a teenager by Dr Schiak.  Cathy's was also corrected when she was much younger.

Jim and Mary in Formal Wear

Email from Mary Farley

November 25, 2021

I was going to a prom with Butch Nichols, a real cutie, that my friends bought me at a pie auction. 

We must have been more liberated than I would have imagined in those days.  I was a sophomore in 1958.  Butch was a senior. The Junior class sold males with a pie at an auction to pay for their prom. No girls were ever auctioned!!!

I never told a soul that I had a crush on Butch.  He was cute and funny. I saw him sometimes at the tennis courts while he was throwing balls with his older brother the Greek god of the high school, the quarterback, track star and soloist in the choir.  Butch was about 5'8", his brother was over 6 feet.  

For whatever reason my friends pooled their money and bought him for me.  I had a wonderful time at the dance.

I have no idea who Jim was taking to the dance.  I wonder if he would have remembered. I had two friends who planned to marry him.  But I don't think he took one of them.

Happy Birthday Kay

Email from Mary Farley

February 18, 2022

Kay created an incredible oasis of green and color and texture at her home in Anacortes. Jim and her garden club friends helped. 

Visiting the Chinese garden or the Rose Garden in Portland was a religious experience.  She wandered with me and sat in silence to drink it all in.  There is a wonderful Japanese garden in Victoria, BC.  Jim drove us to the garden on one of our visits to the city and patiently sat in the car while Kay and I wandered around and sat on a bench soaking in the ambiance.  I am sure she saw the Buchart gardens more than once with some of you.  She worked at the Discovery Garden in Mount Vernon caring for and documenting plants and trees.  She made many friends there and learned a lot.  She studied and practiced and became a Master Gardener.  

She introduced all of us to the Bellevue Botanical Garden.  The Christmas light display was one of the best parts of her season. and we all know how she loved Christmas.  Color and the joy of seeing other families experiencing the displays made her so happy.  She loved the Flower and Garden Show in Seattle.  Nurseries were some of her favorite places.

Kay loved color.  Kay saw texture and variety in leaves and shapes of plants that she incorporated into her garden.  She could stand still and absorb the scent of flowers and plants and feel their power.  She transferred that vison into many of the quilts she made.  They are full of joy and color and stories. 

Kay introduced many of us to the tulip fields.  She shared bulbs with all of us after Cathy died. Some of them still bloom in my garden.   Just being in the tulip fields with her was a trip into another world.  I am so lucky to have been her sister.

I remember the first time she took me to Fir Island, many years ago, and showed me the snow geese overwintering there.  Every time I see them, I remember her pleasure in sharing the wonder.  Jim drove me through the fields a week ago and we saw hundreds of birds.  The beauty and wonder are still there, and I feel Kay. 

Driving through the Skagit valley with her was a religious experience.  She would take a deep breath and sigh and be so glad she lived there.   I am glad she lived there too. 

Happy Birthday Kay

Photo from Jim Eberhardt

The Toothache

Email from Mary Farley

December 9, 2021

Sometime in the late 90's Jim, Marcia, Becky and Cristin arrived in Bothell on their way home from skiing at Snoqualmie Pass.

Marcia walked in and said she had had enough.  Jim had a toothache all day long and he kept putting ice on it.  The ice helped for a while and then the pain came back more intensely.  He had been agitated all day with the pain and he was clearly in agony.  Marcia told me to take him to the emergency room and get him a shot of Demerol.

I gave him a couple of aspirin and convinced him to rub clove spice powder onto his gum.  The anti-inflammatory and analgesic properties of clove spice make it an effective natural remedy to combat tooth pain.*  I gave him the can of spice and a couple of clove buds and we headed to Evergreen Hospital about 9 pm.  I was the nursing supervisor there and the physician and nurse knew me well.

Jim had an abscessed tooth and agreed with the doctor when he said, " I bet you are in a world of hurt".   He ordered IM Demerol and oral antibiotics.  The nurse drew up the shot and asked me if I wanted to give it.  "Now's your chance" she said as she waved the syringe in front of Jim's face. Jim smiled his usual shy smile and looked at me with a bit of worry on his face.   I declined and told her he had always been a good big brother and I didn't need to get even for anything.  

There was a little boy about 6 years old on the stretcher next to Jim and he was crying from an earache and fear.  So, Jim has his pants down far enough to expose his skinny little butt and he pokes his head through the curtains and tells the boy not to be afraid, "they are going to help you."  We went into the waiting room to wait for the meds to be delivered and after a few minutes Jim made a mad dash to the bathroom and vomited all over.  Nausea and vomiting are common side effects of Demerol, but I think Jim is the only person I ever saw actually throw up.

I grabbed several towels and cleaned up the mess on the toilet, floor and walls.  Meanwhile his pain was subsiding, and his tension was gone.   We got his meds just as the boy and his mother were ready to leave.  They were intending to catch a bus home and the bus stop was blocks away.  Jim gave them $20.00 for a cab and he drove us back to Bothell.  Thinking about it now, I should not have let him drive with the Demerol on board, but he was fine, and I probably would not have had any say in the matter anyway.

Marcia and the girls were asleep upstairs.  I put Jim to bed on the living room couch and I set my alarm to give him his next dose of antibiotics and pain meds around 3 or 4 am.  I obviously slept through the alarm.  Dad woke up and gave Jim his meds and both of them went back to sleep. I have never known Dad to wake out of sound sleep except for the times we changed the channel on the TV while he was asleep on the couch.  He would wake up and complain that he was watching that football game or whatever.  He did it on several occasions.  I have heard from other people that this a common paternal trait.  

 I warmed up some mashed potatoes for his breakfast, and he ate them without a problem.   He was hungry and happy to be out of pain.  So were his wife and daughters.

* As soon as Orajel came on the market I bought some for my first aid stock

A Visit with Big Brother

Email from Mary Farley

December 28, 2021

In mid March 2021, Kelsey took Kay to the REI store in Fairhaven and I followed in my car.  I intended to go to Blaine to see Jim.  I called him every week or ten days or he called me and I was worried about him.  Kelsey and I and Oslo took a short hike in the park near Western U. and Kay slept in the car.

Kay decided she wanted to go with me, so we drove on to Blaine.  Jim met us at the door, put his arm around Kay and took her to the chair, sat her down and gave a something to keep her warm.  He talked to her for a long time.  Ever the big brother he made sure she was comfortable.  He heated up some hamburger soup that Marcia had made and made sure she ate some.  Becky came home from a hike and we visited for awhile.  

We got home very late and Jim E. was glad to see us.

Firefighter Jim

Email from Mary Farley

December 29, 2021

Jean has told me about the fire more than once and Kay remembered it too when we talked in Anacortes.

Jim, Kay, Jean, Junior, the boy who lived next door, and maybe Jerry were in the vacant lot next to our house.  It was a lot filled with wild grass, sword ferns and blackberry bushes until 1998 when a building with a parking lot was built there. The grass was high and very dry.  They were playing with sparklers.

Some grass and Kay's shirt caught on fire.  She started screaming and running toward the house.  She was really scared.  Jim dove for her while she was running, rolled her on the ground and put the fire out.

Jim had been in Boy Scouts, and he never forgot the things he learned there.

The Sailor Man

Email from Mary Farley

December 31, 2021

Jim was a Sea Scout, a division of the Boy Scouts, where he became enchanted with the sea and sailing and boats.  Believe me he was cute in his uniform.  He became a serious student of maps and sailing techniques.

One summer Dad rented a house on Hood Canal and the family spent 2 or 3 weeks there.  Jean tells me that Jim rigged a board, similar to a paddle board, with a broom for a mast and a beach towel for a sail.  She remembers him out there on the canal tacking back and forth and loving every minute of it.

Later in life he had bigger versions of the dream. 

The Many Adventures of Kay and Jean

Email from Mary Farley 

January 2, 2022

Jean tells me that Kay taught her to be a better swimmer.  She also taught her how to dive.  She taught her how to drive --with Dad's permission.  Jean says she still parallel parks the way Kay taught her.

Kay challenged her to get better playing tennis by playing with her in the bus barns at the football field.  They were open ended stalls and worked perfectly to practice returning the ball.  They drew lines on the back wall at the height of a tennis net =height of the racket plus the head of the tennis racket turned sideways 90 degrees.  The floor was concrete, and the sides of the barn stalls were solid.  They were about the size of a tennis court from the net to the service line.  One Christmas we got tennis rackets for gifts and went to the tennis courts a half block from the house and played tennis on a warm, sunny, Christmas day.  Kay was a fierce competitor, and I am sure Jean 'felt' her good-looking legs after some of those sessions.  (Dad occasionally went down there and hit his handballs).

Kay also taught us and probably some of you what a "heart stopping moment was".  She was a bit of what we call "an adrenaline junky".  Kay rode bikes down a very steep incline on a slope about 1/2 block from our house.  Large rocks and depressions from old tree removal pocked the slope.  Kay started at the top and went down the hill hands free on her bike and if she occasionally got airborne it was even better.  I saw her stand on her bike seat one time and let go for a couple of seconds, that felt like an eternity to me. She took snow sleds down 101st street as fast as she could and more than once blew through the barrier at the bottom of the hill.

Kay and Jean took tumbling and gymnastics at a school down the block.  Kay got pretty good at handstands.  Jean says she broke the mirror in the door in the North bedroom upstairs while practicing one time.  On another occasion she was practicing in the South bedroom upstairs and removed the grate from the cold air return register and dared herself to miss it.  She didn't.  The damage from Kay putting her leg through the dining room ceiling is still evident.   Dad and Jim tried to repair it with a plaster patch, but it is a very crude looking job.  

She led Jean across the railroad trestle, 30 feet above the Sammamish River.  Of course, they carefully listened for approaching trains by putting their ears to the rails.  The trestle was composed of rails and crossties that were a pretty big step for the teenagers.  Jean says they just made it one time before the train came.  A young boy died after he fell from the trestle and drowned in 1986.

Jean and Kay lived in an apartment on 11th Avenue in the University District for a while.  Jean told me about one night when the moon was full, and they decided to go swimming in Green Lake.  Kay of course started swimming out further and further into the lake.  Jean kept her in sight and went into the water to make sure she could still see her, but lost sight of her in the darkness.  She still remembers how scared she was.

Jerry was going to college in Spokane, at Gonzaga and invited Kay and Jean to come over for a dance.  So, they drove to Spokane.  I don't know what time of year it was.

Jean took Kay to the Canalis Restuarant in Seattle for her 21st birthday. It was almost certainly the most expensive place in town in 1967.   Kay and Jean were driving our grandmother's 1956 Buick that had several unique features due to a couple of accidents.  It was red and cream colored.  One of the front doors was green. It may have had an additional color on the right rear panel.  It looked well-loved as the Valet parking left it parked outside the front doors of Canalis for the duration of their meal.  Jean says she spent about $200.00 for the meal.  Equivalent to $1,590.65 in 2021 dollars !!! according to the currency calculator.  I forgot to ask Jean what they were wearing. 

Meaning of the Farley Name

English: habitational name from any of various places named Farley, of which there are examples in Berkshire, Derbyshire, Hampshire, Kent, Somerset, and Staffordshire, from Old English as fearn ‘fern’ + leah ‘woodland clearing’. See also Farleigh, Fairley, Fairlie. 

Irish: reduced Anglicized form of Gaelic Ó Fearghaile (see Farrelly).

Source: Dictionary of American Family Names ©2013, Oxford University Press

For more Farley history, check out this site from House of Names - https://www.houseofnames.com/farley-family-crest. 

Mother-in-Law Rocks

Email from Mary - January 23, 2022

After Jim and Adele separated, there were items in the house on Hood's Canal that he wanted boxed up.  Kay volunteered the two of us.  We sorted and boxed some items, walked on the beach and found some beach wood and " Mother-in-Law" rocks*. For whatever reason, we lifted the small rowboat that he had on sawhorses or a trailer.  I promptly dropped my end onto the ring finger of my left hand.  I was wearing a favorite ring, a red tiger eye stone, a fairly rare stone.  The weight of the boat cracked the stone and squeezed my finger that immediately turned blue and then purple. I was sure I would lose my finger if we didn't go to an emergency room. Kay went to the car got her Leatherman tool and slipped it between my finger and the ring and cut it off. I don't know how she found the room to get the blade in place, but it worked. My finger pinked up and I mourned the loss of the ring. I think I still have it upstairs.

Kay saved my finger for several rings that I like to wear.

* "Mother-in-Law rocks" are rocks that have multiple indentations from clam shells embedded in mud that solidified into stone.  The shells deteriorate and leave irregular surfaces.  Kay said indigenous people have a legend that a cranky or bossy mother-in-law could have the rocks tied around their neck and be thrown into the sea. How politically incorrect is that?    

I still have one of those rocks on the ledge in the kitchen.  I carried it to apartments in Seattle, to Montana and back.  The large piece of driftwood I found that day has been in the garden for years and now has sedums growing on it.  I remember Jim every time I look at them.

Teenage Girls and a Cookie Jar

Email from Candy - February 13, 2022

Every morning before school Kay and Jeanne would take over the up stairs bathroom.  They would stand in front of the mirror ratting their hair.  Me, the bratty little sister would make fun of them. Next would be  make up, lots of mascara.  They also rolled up their skirts at the Bothell Bus stop before getting on the bus to show off their great legs.  They told the story of throwing dice on the bus floor to past the time.  Then before they entered Holly Names they rolled down their skirts.

 

Kay use to make cookies for the cookie jar in the kitchen but she often burned them.  Unacceptable to Jerry and his friends who would pick up the cookie jar then head into his bedroom.  Of course all the cookies would eaten anyway.  So one day Jerry decided to teach Kay how not to burn the cookies.  Jerry made a batch but put, I think vinegar, in instead of  butter. He never made another batch or complained . We all had a good laugh.  Jim and Mary already out of the house.

 

I love to hear stories I never knew.   

 

Aunt Candace

Jim to the Rescue

Email from Mary - February 14, 2022

Jean reminded me of this story.

Kay took Jim's small sailboat out on Lake Washington.  She was gone a long time and it was getting dark.  People were worried.  Jim got the small speedboat that Dad let Candy dock in Kenmore and went out on the lake and found her.  The wind had died, and she had lost a paddle.  She told me many years later she tried rowing to shore but she was just going in circles.

There were no lights on the sailboat, and I have no idea how Jim found her.

Thank God for big brothers.

Navigator Jim

 Email from Mary - February 15, 2022

This is another story Jean told me about Jim.  I did not know about this adventure, and I am sure Marcia and Becky or Cristin can elaborate.

Jim was a civilian employee of navy in Bremerton working on nuclear submarine maintenance.  He was interested in maps and navigation and started studying and developing skills when he was a Sea Scout, a branch of the Boy Scouts.   He learned and practiced navigation in the Navy where he flew as a navigator and radar man flying the DEW line.  (The Distant Early Warning Line courtesy of the cold war).  He also flew from Guam, and I don't know what they were looking for.  

There was a nuclear sub in California that needed to come back to Bremerton for repairs. The navigation system was malfunctioning, and the sub had to come up the coast on the surface without electronic guidance.  There was no night vision equipment. I don't know if the sonar was working.  The Navy flew Jim to the ship.   He could not fix the equipment.  So, he studied the available maps about underwater hazards; the rocks, the shoals' location and depth, probably the tide charts etc. He set up instruments on deck and guided the ship by the maps and stars up the coast at night.  He stood on the deck all night to avoid hitting the underwater hazards and watching for other boats etc.  He must have been very cold.

He saved the ship and all its crew.

____________________________________________

Reply from Becky - February 15, 2022

When my dad was in the Navy he mostly flew from Alaska to Guam looking for typhoons. This was post the tragic accident that happened to the USS Indianapolis (look it up) and pre satellites and all the information they brought us. They flew 14-18 hour flights. That is what he told me. A few years ago we went to the the museum of flight at Boeing Field and there in front of the museum was one of the type of planes that he flew in. I have a picture of it. 

Strawberries

Email from Mary - February 17, 2022

Mother made hundreds of jars of jams and jellies over the years.  It was a time consuming, arduous and expensive project.  Cost savings and increased quality meant 'you pick' berries, Strawberries, raspberries, blackberries and eventually blueberries. *  Mother did not drive, and the berry fields were usually in Woodinville.

Jim was the designated driver; he was 16-18 years old.  Jim, mother and a child or two were in the front seat.  Those were the days of Buicks with floor clutch and brakes etc., no central console in the front seat with room for more ** The backseat held four or five Farley children.  The trunk had empty boxes.

We crawled around on our hands and knees picking strawberries and eating the ones that looked particularly tasty until we had 50 or 60 pounds of strawberries and were exhausted, and mother didn't want to deal with anymore. There was always a comment about the field owner weighing us before and after the harvesting, but they were usually very happy with us because we picked the rows clean.  If we skipped large areas of the row or left a lot of berries on the plants, they needed to be repicked. It was much more labor intensive for the farmer to do the clean up because other u pickers wanted areas where the berries were abundant.  (Ask Candy about that problem).  Also, we did not have rotten berry fights, that entailed pelting other pickers with the squishy rotten fruit.   The farmers often invited us back.

We reassembled in the car with boxes of strawberries on our laps.  The boxes had been carefully filled to avoid bruising the berries and were large enough to cover our laps.  Jim arranged the boxes so they would not spill.  There may have been one or two boxes on the floor.   Then he climbed in behind the driver's seat, with Strawberry juice smearing his face and drove us home.   The car was filled with giggling children who occasionally spied a particularly plump berry that needed to be tasted. Mother would occasionally caution us that if we ate too many berries there would be less jam. 

The car smelled of Strawberries it was a heady sensation.

Bowls of strawberries with cream for dessert were available for several days.  Rows of Strawberry jam on the shelves of the pantry in the basement rewarded us all year long.   Later receipts came out for frozen jam that was stored in the freezer in the basement that Dad bought mother.  We did not own a freezer for many years.  Dad rented a freezer locker in the local butcher's shop for many years.

* More on these berry picking stories later.

**Large one-piece cushion front seats allowed SOS curve driving at certain speeds " Slide over Sweetheart".  I am sure my brothers never tried. There was also a COD maneuver,  "Come Over Darling", again on curves. What the present generation is missing.

Handball Memories

Email from Mary - February 21, 2022

Dad loved the game of Handball.  He met good friends who became business customers, and he got a good workout.  I suspect he started playing in Fort Dodge, Iowa at the YMCA.  (The Catholic Church did not approve of the Y and sanctioned joining the organization.  I sort of remember that it may have been a sin to join.  Dad was a devout Catholic, who served as an altar boy at morning mass well into his 80's but he figured God would excuse him for getting some exercise.)  He joined the YMCA when we moved to Washington and played handball there until the Washington Athletic Club opened their renovated handball, racquetball etc. courts and he was asked to join the club.  He met and played with a lot of bankers, the Nordstroms, jewelers and other men who became his friends.  Quite honestly, I remember being annoyed with him more than once because a game ran late, and I was waiting for him to give me a ride home.  He must have kept supper waiting too because dinner didn't start until Dad was at the table.

He came home onetime, and his right arm was swollen and black and blue from his wrist to his elbow.  (major vessel damage ). I asked him what happened, and he told me he got hit with the ball playing handball.  While applying ice and elevation I asked him why he didn't stop playing and he gave me the wide-eyed look and said, "we were winning"!  The game and exercise and the friends were very important to him.

As he grew older, he wasn't as fast or as strong.  I took him to play his last handball game when he was 80.  Onetime there was a national handball tournament at the Athletic Club.  Dad wanted to see the games and for some reason Jim agreed to take him with me. I think we were using the walker at that time.  The court had bleachers on one side, and we watched the games from the top row- probably the fifth row up.  When the games were over Jim helped Dad down and stood by the side of the bleacher waiting for me to hand him the walker.  For whatever reason I gave it to him, and I turned and stepped back to fall into thin air.   Jim caught me.  We were both terrified.  I was sure he would be injured for life.  He was so strong then.

Thank goodness for big brothers.

Thank God for Big Brothers

Email from Mary - March 6, 2022

Cathy had naturally curly hair and mother had a hard time finding someone who could cut it well.  Eventually she found a lady at Frederick and Nelson's store in Seattle who did a wonderful job and Cathy loved it.  Cathy was 10 or 11 years old when Kay and Jean were going to Seattle for something.  They took Cathy with them to get her hair cut.  They took the bus to Seattle and waited while she got her hair cut and then walked 4 blocks to the Greyhound Bus Station where we caught the bus to Bothell for many years.  They put Cathy on the bus to Bothell and went on their way.

Cathy was very familiar with the bus route.  She knew how to walk home from the bus stop in Bothell as she had done it many times with mother and rode by there often on her bike.  However, this time she fell asleep and woke up when the bus was back in Seattle.  She got off the bus and went into the bus station to wait for Kay and Jean to come back and take the bus home.  It was a long wait, and she had no money.   She started crying because she had to go to the bathroom, and she was afraid she would miss them if they came while she was in the restroom.  A lady had been watching her and called mother.  Mother called Jim and Jim went to get her in his MG.  Cathy thought Jim walked on water and you can imagine how happy and relieved she was when she saw him.

Thank God for big brothers.

I heard this story from mother when I came home for a visit from nursing school. Mother was still terrified about what could have happened to Cathy.